Recently I answered to a model call for Retrofit Republic & Thick Dumpling Skin, I thought the questions I answered were a good way for folks to really know who I am and what I'm about. (don't know if I've been accepted yet) enjoy.
How do you look good?
First and foremost, I look good by wearing things that make
me feel good. I prefer clothes that accentuate my body, not restrict my
curves. I like my make-up to enhance my
features, not cover them up. Last but not least, I try to wear my hair in a way
that matches the intensity of my shoes and/or my personality. Growing up, I was always told that my hair
was too thick, frizzy, curly, etc. Now that I am older and have found the style
that suits me, I have learned to love my hair and its versatility. Another thing I’ve learned to love is
color! I don’t think there is a color
out there that I haven’t tried on. I love intense colors, and mixing and
matching. I love being classy and making
a statement with my outfit.
More important than appearance is my attitude. I look best when I wear a positive attitude! I’ve found that one of my talents is being
able to change someone’s perspective on a
potentially negative situation. I believe
when I exert positive energy and handle tough situations with a positive
attitude that it shows character allowing people around me to see that my
intentions are good.
How do you do good?
I do good by doing what I do best: inspiring other women around
me by being a fierce Asian American community leader and an edgy visual and
literary artist.
I am a role model in
more ways than one.
I teach karate for
children and teenagers, Muay Thai kickboxing and cardio kickboxing for adults
(particularly women) at Karate Team
USA. And I am also a non-profit project
coordinator for an organization called Asian American Women Artists Association
(AAWAA).
Both of these organizations
empower women ans strengthen our community. Although they are inadequately
funded and underrecognized, I choose to stay in these roles because it fulfills
me to see that I am helping to create a stronger and more ambitious generation
behind me and learning from those in front of me.
Through these roles, I do good by breaking stereotypes and challenging
assumptions and I attempt to inspire everyone I meet. We often times judge a book by its cover
depending on what the other person is wearing, their facial expression, their
body language, and/or the way that they walk and talk. People make assumptions about me on a daily
basis that I am a “mean fighting machine”, but in actuality I wouldn’t hurt a
fly unless my life was in danger. So,
what if that “badass, mean-looking” lady thundering down the street was
actually a genuinely nice person? Maybe
they have reasons for carrying themselves the “badass” way that they do? Being
a survivor of child abuse and abusive relationships, I know I do! But, instead of treating other women as
competition, I treat them like sisters!
Women need to support each other- not step on each
others’ toes to get what they need or want. I allow myself to be vulnerable by speaking
openly about my painful past, but empower people by showing them that I made a
choice to change the outcome of my future – not by willpower alone, but with
the help of organizations and supportive women around me.
From the second I
open my mouth to the moment I walk away I try to encourage, compliment, and
make known to people around me that I genuinely support them, and that they should
keep their heads up, no matter what others may think. Sometimes, that last positive comment that
you leave with someone is what will trigger change for the better.
Where do you find inspiration?
Mainly my inspiration comes from other strong women leaders
around me. My mother is a strong Asian
American woman, breadwinner, and “shot-caller” of the family. She was flown out of her small town in the
Visayas of the Philippines while she was 17 years old, 6 months pregnant, broke
and alone. She has endured numerous
struggles to provide for her family and make a grown-woman out of me! She is my
inspiration to keep working to make my dreams happen and provide a better
future for my son.
Rocky Rivera, a female rapper/MC/journalist is a
ground-breaking Asian American artist.
She breaks stereotypes through music and inspires women/listeners in
general to think twice when you make assumptions about Asian American
women. Her music is everything that
hip-hop should be: empowering,
humanizing, politically correct (or in-correct in a righteous matter) and
socially conscious.
I also find inspiration in things that make me angry, or
things that I feel are unjust. Whether I
feel something is wrong for an individual or for the community I try to find
out what I can do to help change things for the better. I think our society is very individualistic –
not to say individuality is wrong, but, we oftentimes fail to recognize that we
cannot accomplish half of the things that we do if it weren’t for the resources
made available to us by our communities and the immediate
supporters/friends/family that we surround ourselves with.
What do you love the most about yourself and why?
I am brown as my Spanish-looking
grandmother, with curly hair, big thick lips, and meaty thighs. Regardless of what I’ve been told, I love
every inch of me. As unique as my
hair is, I have learned to love the fact that it’s so versatile. I can leave my house without doing anything
to my hair and still look like I spent hours curling it, or I can change my
entire look by simply changing the type of hairstyle I rock.
I love that people can never figure out what my ethnic
background is. I am ½ Filipina, ¼ Chinese, and ¼ White (Polish to be
exact), but I’m sure I’ve got some Spanish blood from my mothers’ side and Dutch blood from my fathers’. I
can pass for many things, but when people say I look a certain way, I always
challenge that assumption with the question, “Well, what are ‘[fill in the
blank] people’ supposed to look like?
Who told you that”? By simply
walking out of my house and being open to conversation with anyone who is
open-minded and/or interested to hear about who I am and the things that I’ve
gone through, I can change an opinion or perspective on things that have long been
deemed stereotypical.
I love that people who meet me and get to know me say that
the way I look compliments my personality, and that they actually didn’t expect
that to happen! Many times I have a very
stern or serious look on my face, maybe it’s just a force of habit from
teaching martial arts since I was young, but the second I turn my attention and
reach out to shake someone’s hand – they
realize that they are dealing with someone that is kind and genuinely trying to
understand and help.
Anything else you’d like to tell us?
Growing up in a majority white suburb of Los Angeles called
Palmdale, I was always told that I didn’t fit “the image”, I wasn’t tall
enough, my hair needed to be straightened and bleached, I needed to use
skin-whitening soap, I was told to change everything that was physically
impossible to change. I mean, I could
bleach my hair all I wanted, but the fact was that my hair would still grow out
in its original black color! So, when I moved to San Francisco I attempted to
hang out with “my own kind”, other Asian Americans that I thought looked like
me, but then I was told I didn’t look Asian enough! I remember one of my friends having to
explain to her parents that I wasn’t black and that I could be trusted, just so
that I’d be able to come over and hang out with her.
As I got older I tried to fit myself into this stereotypical
“Asian Import Girl” image. With a terrible
combination of attempting to find a direction in my life and looking for extra income,
I started to work at a Vietnamese coffee shop as a lingerie waitress. I was so angry with myself and felt that I was
a hypocritical sell-out. I was working for an industry that I was completely
against, and this was a point in my life where I realized the way I was raised
and the experiences I have had in my past are reasons why I felt the need to
try to be someone I wasn’t. Once I
understood the saying “Know History, Know Self”, I was able to completely
embrace myself, my image, and even gained a new direction and passion in my
life.
It is the many experiences like these along with a myriad of
others in my life that have pushed me to be who I am today: a catalyst for
positive change and perspective. I see
the importance in not only looking good, but also doing good and walking the
walk when you talk the talk!
